Steelers Update.

Oh, no! Not him.

Everybody in southwestern PA better lock their closets...

From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Steelers sign Najeh Davenport, cut Cobbs
Former Green Bay Packers running back Najeh Davenport signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers on Friday.

Davenport, who has rushed for 1,068 yards in 39 NFL games, missed most of last season after breaking an ankle Oct. 9 against New Orleans. The 6-foot-1, 247-pounder was released last weekend by Green Bay.

Davenport is expected to give the Steelers a power running back in the mold of the retired Jerome Bettis.

To make room for Davenport on their 53-man roster, the Steelers released rookie running back Patrick Cobbs, who was acquired from the New England Patriots on Sept. 1 for a conditional draft pick, but did not play in the Steelers' season-opening game Thursday against Miami.

Miller's thriller
Tight end Heath Miller's 87-yard score sparked a 28-17 Steelers' victory over Miami Thursday at Heinz Field.

Steelers Start Super Strong

Special teams blunders prove costly
The Steelers' special teams got off to a rough start Thursday night in the season-opener against the Miami Dolphins.

Starkey: Batch comes through
Charlie Batch did more than just manage the game. He played a pivotal role in the Steelers' season-opening, 28-17 victory over the Miami Dolphins.

Steelers 28, Dolphins 17: How they scored

Inside the game
Highlights from the Steelers' 28-17 win over Miami

Jennifer Lopez makes me smile. (The Last)

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette:

From The Desk Of Fyodor Garibaldi...

To: The Others
RE: It

Every once in a while, Your Humble Servant feels compelled to disabuse some visitors of the misconceptions and prejudices festering in their heads.

1) This is a place for me to put my stuff.

2) I do not want fans. I would like to have readers.

3) All of you good little kiddies who get it may disregard the balance of this memo and proceed to the next post. As for the rest of you...

4) Congratulations. You found someone (on the Internet, of all places!)with whom you disagree. How novel. How clever of you.

My guess is you haven't been paying attention since puberty set in.

5) No matter how much you wish things were different, nothing here is about you. Nothing here is for you. This is my little idiot corner of Bloggerdom - of me, by me, and for me.

That being said, I do hope you find it interesting, edifying, and occasionally amusing. If not, go away. I will not lose any sleep over it and neither should you.

6) Your opinion of my opinions interests me not at all. Opinions are like...toes: Everybody has nearly a dozen of them and some people's are webbed.

7) Your opinion of my methods, madness, tactics, stratagems, peccadillos, idiosyncrasies, foibles, intellectual bona fides, vocabulary, morality, immorality, politics, character, cheesesteaks, and cheesesteaks, taste in women, religious beliefs, et cetera, interests me even less.

8) The bottom line? I do not care what you think. (Yes, you. That's right, even you. Yep, you guessed it, even you.)

The fact that you seem to care about what I think amuses me for about three seconds every time you remind me of it.

9) Here is a little magic trick for you. Simply ignore me and I won't vex you any longer. I wish I could do that to you, but I must regularly purge my mailbox of your clutter or else I might miss some of those wonderful unsolicited money-making opportunities.

10) You do not understand because you do not want to understand. You do not get it because you think you know.

By the grace of Almighty God, your ignorance is not invincible. But it is willful.

11) I will regularly re-post this memo for even the most obstinate and slow-witted of the beasts may be taught by repetition.

Listen up, kiddies. This is history.

AFP: Enthusiasts recreate Britain's WWII Enigma codebreaker

LONDON - A fully-functioning replica of a secret British codebreaking machine which hastened the end of the Second World War more than 60 years ago was unveiled.

Turing Bombe machines cracked some 3,000 enemy messages in the German Enigma code every day and are said to have shortened the war by two years.

Previously, it would have taken weeks rather than minutes to decipher the messages.

After the war, British prime minister Winston Churchill ordered that the machines be destroyed, for fear of them falling into the wrong hands.
But 60 enthusiasts have been beavering away for the past 10 years to recreate them from drawings of the individual parts.

The fruit of their labours was unveiled at Bletchley Park, northwest of London, where up to 10,000 people worked to break codes during the war.
Some of the techniques used are still deployed in counter-terrorism today, the National Codes Centre at Bletchley Park said.

Simon Greenish, director of Bletchley Park Trust, said the reconstruction was an "astonishing achievement".

"What was done at Bletchley has affected all our lives in one way or another because World War II would not have ended when it did if it wasn't for Bletchley," he said.

"I believe that this is one of the 20th century's great stories and the Turing Bombe is part of that great story."

Churchill praised the discretion of the women working at Bletchley, reportedly hailing them as "the geese that laid the golden eggs but never cackled".

Warrior women...

Penis Bad, Vagina Good Update.

1) The researchers seem to be English.

2) It is obvious they have never tried to buy a plasma tv at the same time the ol'ball and chain has determined little Janey needs orthodontia.

Roto-Reuters: Researchers identify 'male warrior effect'

NORWICH - Men may have developed a psychology that makes them particularly able to engage in wars, a scientist said on Friday.

New research has shown that men bond together and cooperate well in the face of adversity to protect their interests more than women, which could explain why war is almost exclusively a male business, according to Professor Mark van Vugt of the University of Kent in southern England.

"Men respond more strongly to outward threats, we've labeled that the 'man warrior effect'," he told the British Association for the Advancement of Science meeting.

"Men are more likely to support a country going to war. Men are more likely sign up for the military and men are more likely to lead groups in more autocratic, militaristic ways than women," he added.

Van Vugt said the finding is consistent with results from different behavioral science disciplines.

In experiments with 300 university men and women students, Van Vugt and his team gave the volunteers small sums of money which they could either keep or invest in a common fund that would be doubled and equally divided. None of the students knew what the others were doing.

Both sexes cooperated in investing in the fund. But when the groups were told they were competing against other universities, the males were more eager to invest rather than keep their money while the number of women contributing remained the same.

"We all know males are more aggressive than females," Van Vugt said, adding that co-operation is needed to establish institutions and governments and to wage wars.

"Male co-operation is a double-edged sword," he added.

Nikolai Volkoff Update.

If there is any justice in this world, former pro wrestling great Nikolai Volkoff will soon be elected to the Maryland House of Delegates.

Baltimore Sun: Candidates in state 7th ready to go to the mat

Josip Peruzovic likes to tell the one about picking up Hulk Hogan for a body slam. It was back in the 1980s, and Peruzovic - you might remember him as Cold War-era bad guy Nikolai Volkoff - says he kicked a whiskey bottle out of the way before dropping pro wrestling's golden boy to the mat.

Now he's on the ballot in the 7th Legislative District, running for the House of Delegates under his stage name. And he's not the only one in the race who has shown that he won't walk away from a scuffle - incumbent Republican Dels. Richard K. Impallaria and Patrick L. McDonough clashed with lobbyists for Hispanics two years ago after a legislative hearing in Annapolis.

In all, more than a dozen candidates - five Republicans, including the third incumbent, J.B. Jennings, seven Democrats and one Green Party member - are seeking the three seats representing a district that stretches from Middle River to Cockeysville to parts of Harford County. And some shots are coming across party lines, even as the GOP race has spawned a round of interparty finger-pointing.Call it a political battle royale - though McDonough says, "I don't think that hitting someone over the head with a chair qualifies someone for office."

Neither does being a smartass, you lamebrain.

Due to time constraints, we now move to further action.

The other Republican is Peruzovic, 59, a Glen Arm resident and code enforcement inspector with the Baltimore County government. In an interview last month, he said he had posted signs and knocked on doors but had not been campaigning heavily. Peruzovic, who emigrated from Yugoslavia in the 1960s, said that as a legislator he would tackle high gasoline and energy prices, and take a look at taxes.

"I don't think even the left wing would write in a script that would have this sort of juxtaposition," said Donald Murphy, the former county GOP chairman and a lobbyist in Annapolis. "Come on - that Rick Impallaria and Pat McDonough, both of whom are one-note Johnnies on immigration, would be challenged by a guy who came from the Soviet bloc."

The top three vote-getters in each party advance to the general election.

You have 2 choices: Choke on the Clinton legacy or have it splooged all over your clothes.

From Powerline: Did the Dems Threaten ABC?

The Democrats have gone nuts over the ABC miniseries, The Path to 9/11. But it's a little hard to see why. Maybe it's because Disney and ABC have been reliably pro-Democrat in the past, so the Dems feel betrayed.

Looking at the big picture, though, it's a little hard to see what the Dems are complaining about. I haven't seen the miniseries, but I take it that it doesn't portray the Clinton administration as having taken very effective action against the growing threat from Islamic terrorists. What I don't understand is how the Democrats think they can rewrite history to challenge that characterization.

There is no doubt about the fact that the terrorist menace grew and became increasingly obvious during the Clinton administration. To note just a few highlights:

* January 25, 1993: Mir Aimal Kansi, a Pakistani, fired an AK-47 into cars waiting at a stoplight in front of the Central Intelligence Agency headquarters in Virginia, killing two CIA employees.

* February 26, 1993: Islamic terrorists try to bring down the World Trade Center with car bombs. They failed to destroy the buildings, but killed 6 and injured over 1000 people.

* March 12, 1993: Car bombings in Mumbai, India leave 257 dead and 1,400 others injured.

* July 18, 1994: Bombing of Jewish Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina, kills 86 and wounds 300. The bombing is generally attributed to Hezbollah acting on behalf of Iran.

* July 19, 1994: Alas Chiricanas Flight 00901 is bombed, killing 21. Generally attributed to Hezbollah.

* July 26, 1994: The Israeli Embassy is attacked in London, and a Jewish charity is also car-bombed, wounding 20. The attacks are attributed to Hezbollah.

* December 11, 1994: A bomb explodes on board Philippine Airlines Flight 434, killing a Japanese businessman. It develops that Ramzi Yousef planted the bomb to test it for the larger terrorist attack he is planning.

* December 24, 1994: In a preview of September 11, Air France Flight 8969 is hijacked by Islamic terrorists who planned to crash the plane in Paris.

* January 6, 1995: Operation Bojinka, an Islamist plot to bomb 11 U.S. airliners over the Pacific Ocean, is discovered on a laptop computer in a Manila, Philippines apartment by authorities after a fire occurred in the apartment. Noted terrorists including Ramzi Yousef and Khalid Shaikh Mohammed are involved in the plot.

* June 14—June 19, 1995: The Budyonnovsk hospital hostage crisis, in which 105 civilians and 25 Russian troops were killed following an attack by Chechan Islamists.

* July—October, 1995: Bombings in France by Islamic terrorists led by Khaled Kelkal kill eight and injure more than 100.

* November 13, 1995: Bombing of OPM-SANG building in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia kills 7.

* November 19, 1995: Bombing of Egyptian Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan kills 19.

* January 1996: In Kizlyar, 350 Chechen Islamists took 3,000 hostages in a hospital. The attempt to free them killed 65 civilians and soldiers.

* February 25 - March 4, 1996: A series of four suicide bombings in Israel leave 60 dead and 284 wounded within 10 days.

* June 11, 1996: A bomb explodes on a train traveling on the Serpukhovsko-Timiryazevskaya Line of the Moscow Metro, killing four and unjuring at least 12.

* June 25, 1996: The Khobar Towers bombing, carried out by Hezbollah with Iranian support. Nineteen U.S. servicemen were killed and 372 wounded.

* February 24, 1997: An armed man opens fire on tourists at an observation deck atop the Empire State Building in New York City, United States, killing a Danish national and wounding visitors from several countries. A handwritten note carried by the gunman claims this was a punishment attack against the "enemies of Palestine".

* November 17, 1997: Massacre in Luxor, Egypt, in which Islamist gunmen attack tourists, killing 62 people.

* January 1998: Wandhama Massacre - 24 Kashmiri Pandits are massacred by Pakistan-backed Islamists in the city of Wandhama in Indian-controlled Kashmir.

* February 14, 1998: Bombings by Islamic Jihadi groups at an election rally in the Indian city of Coimbatore kill about 60 people.

* August 7, 1998: Al Qaeda bombs U.S. embassies in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania and Nairobi, Kenya, killing 225 people and injuring more than 4,000.

* August 31 – September 22, 1998: Russian apartment bombings kill about 300 people, leading Russia into Second Chechen War.

* December 1998: Jordanian authorities foil a plot to bomb American and Israeli tourists in Jordan, and arrest 28 suspects as part of the 2000 millennium attack plots.

* December 14, 1998: Ahmed Ressam is arrested on the United States–Canada border in Port Angeles, Washington; he confessed to planning to bomb the Los Angeles International Airport as part of the 2000 millennium attack plots.

* December 24, 1998: Indian Airlines Flight 814 from Kathmandu, Nepal to Delhi, India is hijacked by Islamic terrorists. One passenger is killed and some hostages are released. After negotiations between the Taliban and the Indian government, the last of the remaining hostages on board Flight 814 are released in exchange for release of 4 terrorists.

* January 2000: The last of the 2000 millennium attack plots fails, as the boat meant to bomb USS The Sullivans sinks.

* August 8, 2000: A bomb exploded at an underpass in Pushkin Square in Moscow, killing 11 people and wounding more than 90.

* August 17, 2000: Two bombs exploded in a shopping center in Riga, Latvia, injuring 35 people.

* October 12, 2000: AL Qaeda bombs USS Cole with explosive-laden speedboat, killing 17 US sailors and wounding 40, off the port coast of Aden, Yemen.

Between 1993 and 2000, everyone who was paying any attention knew that the threat from Islamic terrorism was grave and getting worse. The catastrophic losses that occurred on Septimeber 11, 2001, could just as easily have happened in 1993, when the first plot to destroy the World Trade Center was carried off successfully, but the terrorists had miscalculated the effect of their explosives, or in 1995, when the plot to destroy eleven American airplanes in flight was thwarted by counter-intelligence work in the Philippines. What did the Clinton administration do in response to this grave threat? Essentially nothing. Worse, Clinton tried to sweep the problem under the rug, lest it disrupt the surface calm and prosperity for which he was eager to claim credit.

However Path to 9/11 portrays the Clinton administration, it can be no worse than the reality.

Instead of trying his hand at Leninist-Leninist thuggery, (Hitlery is better at it) King Goober II should shut up and thank his lucky stars his bloated corpse is not swinging from a White House tree.

...Now his henchmen and enablers, left-fascists all, join the fray in an attempt to silence criticism of the sacred Goober II regime!

Will those card-carrying propagandists of the zeitgeist at Disney have the stones to stand up and be counted as free men? I'll bet you $20 they are dropping their drawers and bending over for The Party of Blasphemy, Buggery, and 'Bortion's apparatchiks as I type...

Text of Senate Democrats' Letter Condemning 'The Path to 9/11'
Crosswalk.com - We write with serious concerns about the planned upcoming broadcast of "The Path to 9/11" mini-series on Sept. 10 and 11. Countless reports from experts on 9/11 who have viewed the program indicate numerous and serious inaccuracies that will undoubtedly serve to misinform the American people about the tragic events surrounding the terrible attacks of that day.

Scholastic squashes 'The Path to 9/11' guide
CNN Money - Children's publishing company Scholastic said that it is removing materials from its Web site originally created for use in conjunction with ABC's "The Path to 9/11" amid growing controversy over the docudrama.

HOLY CRAP!!! My Weekly Reader is a tool of the anti-First Amendment crowd and the America Last thugs!

ABC ignores Democrats, won't pull The Path to 9-11 docudrama
Sun-Sentinel - Sep 08 7:08 AMTop Senate Democrats urged the Walt Disney Co. on Thursday to cancel The Path to 9-11, but ABC said it would air the epic docudrama about events leading up to the terrorist attacks five years ago.


'The Path to 9/11' examines clues before Trade Center attack
Louisville Courier-Journal - TV programming about 9/11 shifts into high gear this weekend ahead of the anniversary on Monday, when everybody will be remembering where they were and what they were doing on that day five years ago. Harvey Keitel plays former FBI counterterrorism agent John O'Neill in "The Path to 9/11."

A COMPELLING "PATH TO 9-11"
Brent Bozell III - Sep 07 3:49 AMTo mark the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attack on America, ABC Entertainment is presenting a six-hour miniseries titled "The Path to 9/11," a forceful, compelling docudrama chronicling the struggles faced by America's counter-terrorist experts between the first attack on the World Trade Center in 1993 and the fatal one in 2001.

'NYT' Calls Controversial 9/11 Movie Evenhanded, Others Disagree
Editor & Publisher - The film-makers and network responsible for the upcoming miniseries, "The Path to 9/11," which is now under assault for its alleged conservative bias, received critical support from a perhaps unexpected quarter on Friday -- The New York Times.

The Path to 911
ABC 2 Baltimore - ABC’s response to the controversial “The Path to 9/11” : Statement from an ABC Spokesperson: The Path to 9/11 is a dramatization, not a documentary, drawn from a variety of sources, including the 9/11 commission report, other published materials and from personal interviews.

ABC still editing 'The Path to 9/11'
UPI - ABC is under fire to re-cut its miniseries based on the behind the scenes government running's pre-Sept. 11, after heated responses from Clinton supporters.

BTW, kiddies, this is the kind of totalitarian nonsense we get when we allow the First Amendment to be diddled by the unelected potentates of the US Supreme Court and the elected cretins like Senator War Hero and Senator Fuss Foolsgold. BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! STRIPTEASE IS CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED, YOU MORONIC SHEEP!

Methinks the fat nazi bastard doth protest too much...

ABC calls Bill Clinton aides' criticism premature
The Star-Ledger - A "terribly wrong" miniseries about events leading to the Sept. 11 attacks blames President Bill Clinton's policies, former Clinton administration officials said in letters demanding that ABC correct it or not air it.

Clinton blasts 9/11 film, amid report of changes
CNN.com - Former President Bill Clinton called for ABC to "tell the truth" in an upcoming miniseries about the events leading up to the 9/11 attacks.

Bill Clinton Officials Fight Disney Bosses Over New 9/11 Miniseries
Hollywood.com - High-ranking officials in former President Bill Clinton's administration are attempting to pull the plug on a new 9/11 TV miniseries over alleged inaccuracies.


Clinton And 9-11
Investor's Business Daily - An ABC miniseries finally pays as much attention to Bill Clinton's eight years before 9-11 as the Democrats have to President Bush's eight months. Critics who blame Bush for missing Osama bin Laden are missing the point.

Clinton aides attack 9/11 drama
BBC News - A mini-series about the 9/11 attacks is called "terribly wrong" by a group of Bill Clinton's ex-officials.

Clinton asks for September 11 'docudrama' to be pulled
AFP - The foundation of former US president Bill Clinton asked ABC television not to air a dramatic miniseries about the run-up to the September 11, 2001 attacks, saying it improperly suggests he was too busy with the Monica Lewinsky scandal to fight terrorism.

Wow. The foundation? I wonder what his bedroom thinks of it.

Clinton aides condemn 9/11 drama as 'terribly wrong'
Times Online - An American television mini-series about the September 11 terrorist attacks has come under fire from Bill Clinton and his former officials, who have condemned the programme as inaccurate, misleading and defamatory.

Fyodor's College Football Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.

5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my college picks for this week.



Friday 9/8


Pittsburgh (-8) at Cincinnati
I am feeling a whole lotta love for the Panthers at this time. Pick Pitt to cover.
FINAL: Pitt 33 Cincinnati 15 - Fyodor wins!


Saturday 9/9


Illinois (+10.5) at Rutgers
A Big 11 bottom dweller falls to the Rutgers juggernaut. Pick Rutgers.
FINAL: Rutgers 33 Illinois 0 - Fyodor wins!


Auburn (-20.5) at Mississippi State
The Tigers looked very good last week. They are Mythical National Title contenders. Take Auburn to cover.
FINAL: Auburn 34 Mississippi 0 - Fyodor wins!


Vanderbilt (+16) at Alabama
Vandy showed a little heart against Michigan and Bama was not impressive against Hawaii. I'll take the Commodores (minus Lionel Richie) plus the points.
FINAL: Alabama 13 Vanderbilt 10 - Fyodor wins!


Penn State (+7.5) at Notre Dame
The Lions D gave up too many points against Akron. I think Brady Quinn will play better for the Irish. If ND wins, the margin should be more than 7.5. My pick is Notre Dame to cover.
FINAL: Notre Dame 41 Penn State 17 - Fyodor wins! (Ouch!)


Clemson (-2.5) at Boston College
This line surprised me. I'm figuring on the Tigers winning by at least 10. I'd like to see BC win, but I'll take Clemson to win easily.
FINAL: Boston College 34 Clemson 33 - Fyodor loses! (I don't mind losing this one. Nice win for the Eagles.)


Washington (+16) at Oklahoma
The Huskies stink. Pick the Sooners to cover the spread.
FINAL: Oklahoma 37 Washington 20 - Fyodor wins!


Colorado State (-2) at Colorado
After Colorado lost to 1-AA Montana State, I knew I had to pick this game. I'll kick the Buffs while they're down. Take the Rams to cover. Big time.
FINAL: Colorado State 14 Colorado 10 - Fyodor wins!


Central Florida (+23) at Florida
I'll take the Gators to cover the big number.
FINAL: Florida 42 Central Florida 0 - Fyodor wins!


Middle Tennessee State (+22) at Maryland
I'm picking Maryland because I have no idea how good MTSU is. How's that for logic?
FINAL: Maryland 24 MTSU 10 - Fyodor loses! (What was I thinking?)


Air Force (+20) at Tennessee
Is this a trap game for the Vols? Are they basking in the glow of their dismantling of Cal? Will Air Force play any national power tough (other than Notre Dame)? I'll take the Falcons and the points.
FINAL: Tennessee 31 Air Force 30 - Fyodor wins! (YES! Congrats to Air Force for going for two and the win.)


Utah State (+28.5) at Arkansas
How much did USC take out of the Razorbacks? Not enough for Utah State. Take Arkansas and the huge number.
FINAL: Arkansas 20 Utah State 0 - Fyodor loses!


Minnesota (+7.5) at California
How overrated is Cal? Very. Take the Gophers and the points.
FINAL: Cal 42 Minnesota 17 - Fyodor loses! (That's why they call it gambling.)


UNLV (+14.5) at Iowa State
The Cyclones looked bad last week when they barely beat Toledo. I'll take the Rebels and the points on a hunch.
FINAL: Iowa State 16 UNLV 10 - Fyodor wins! (That's why they call it gambling.


Toledo (-10.5) at Western Michigan
I'll pick the Rockets to cover. (See the ISU pick above.)
FINAL: Western Michigan 31 Toledo 10 - Fyodor wins! (Ack!)


Georgia (-3) at South Carolina
The Bulldogs will win by 14 or more.
FINAL: Georgia 18 South Carolina 0 - Fyodor wins! (Heehee!)


Ohio State (+2.5) at Texas
The Game of the Week! #1 versus #2! It should be a great game and the Buckeyes should win outright.
FINAL: Ohio State 24 Texas 7 - Fyodor wins!


Rice (+27.5) at UCLA
The Bruins will clobber the Owls, but they won't cover. Pick Rice and the points.
FINAL: UCLA 26 Rice 16 - Fyodor wins! (YES!)

DAY 16: PLUTO HELD HOSTAGE

Saint of the Day and daily Mass readings.

Today is the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Pray for us, Blessed Mother.

Today's reading for the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary is Micheas 5:1-4.
Today's Responsorial Psalm is Psalms 13:6.
Today's Gospel reading is Matthew 1:1-16, 18-23.


Everyday links:

The Blessed Virgin Mary
The Rosary
Our Mother of Perpetual Help
Prayers from EWTN
National Coalition of Clergy and Laity (dedicated to action for a genuine Catholic Restoration)
The Catholic Calendar Page for Today


Just in case you are wondering what exactly Catholics believe, here is

The Apostles Creed

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord, Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.


Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession,was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins my Mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful; O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy clemency hear and answer me. Amen.


St. Joseph, her most chaste spouse, pray for us.


Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from Christ's side, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; Within Thy wounds hide me; Suffer me not to be separated from Thee; From the malicious enemy defend me; In the hour of my death call me; And bid me come unto Thee; That I may praise Thee with Thy saints and with Thy angels Forever and ever. Amen.


Prayer to St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire

Dear St. Anthony, you became a Franciscan with the hope of shedding your blood for Christ. In God's plan for you, your thirst for martyrdom was never to be satisfied. St. Anthony, Martyr of Desire, pray that I may become less afraid to stand up and be counted as a follower of the Lord Jesus. Intercede also for my other intentions. (Name them.)


Prayer To Saint Michael The Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the divine power, thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.


Prayer to End Abortion

Lord God, I thank You today for the gift of my life, and for the lives of all my brothers and sisters. I know there is nothing that destroys more life than abortion, yet I rejoice that you have conquered death by the resurrection of Your Son. I am ready to do my part to end abortion. Today I commit myself never to be silent, never to be passive, and never to be forgetful of the unborn. I commit myself to be active in the pro-life movement, and never stop defending life until all my brothers and sisters are protected and our nation once again becomes a nation with liberty and justice, not just for some, but for all. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.


Prayer For Vocations

Send forth your Spirit, Lord, into the hearts of your faithful people, that we may be conscious of our vocation to holiness and sevice to others. Grant that many of us may dedicate ourselves to You through the priesthood and the religious life.We pray especially for the needs of our own parish and diocese. Grant that we may always have sufficient good and holy priests, and dedicated Sisters to serve our commumities.We pray, too, for religious orders; that generous men may join them to become zealous missionaries in preaching the Gospel in word and action, especially to the poor and abandoned.We make this prayer through Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.


Prayer Before The Crucifix

Behold, O kind and gentle Jesus, I kneel before Thee and pray that Thou would impress upon my heart the virtues of faith, hope, and charity, with true repentance for my sins and a firm purpose of amendment. At the same time, with sorrow I meditate on Thy five precious wounds, having in mind the words which David spoke in prophecy: "They have pierced my hands and my feet. I can count all my bones."

EEK! (Part Two)

OMG!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, KIDDIES!!!!!!!!!

OUR MORAL AND INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORS ARE SCREAMING IT AT US AND THEY CANNOT BE MISTAKEN! (Nor could they be pushing their left-fascist political agenda!)


Space.com: Methane Bubbles Make Global Warming Worse
Methane gas bubbles up from Siberian lakes at up to six times the rate previously thought as a result of global warming, a new study suggests. The result: more global warming. As the planet warms, frozen ground called "permafrost" in high latitude-regions like Siberia and Alaska thaws out.

There's this guy who's been in a coma for 25 years. 25 years in a hospital bed.

Then, one day, after 25 years, he sits up wide awake - he's perfectly fine!

The doctors can't believe it...

AP: Scientists see new global warming threat
New research is raising concerns that global warming may be triggering a self-perpetuating climate time bomb trapped in once-frozen permafrost.

They run all sorts of tests on him and there's nothing wrong!

They run the tests again, still, there's nothing wrong with the guy!

It's a miracle, they say. So they discharge him from the hospital.

ABC News: Scientists See New Global Warming Threat
Scientists Find New Global Warming Threat: Melting Permafrost May Release Methane

The first thing he does, he goes straight to the beach, because he always loved the beach.

So, he's walking along the shore when he stops and stares at the waves, because right in front of him, coming out of the surf and walking straight toward him is the most beautiful women he has ever seen. And remember, he hasn't seen a woman in 25 years.

She's tall, with long brown hair, a gorgeous face, a voluptuous body, and she's wearing a skintight wetsuit. Like one of those little Baywatch models, it's cutoff at mid-thigh.

She walks right up to him, smiles, and says "Would you like a beer?"

San Francisco Chronicle: Scientists See New Global Warming Threat New research is raising concerns that global warming may be triggering a self-perpetuating climate time bomb trapped in once-frozen permafrost. As the Earth warms, greenhouse gases once stuck in the long-frozen soil are bubbling into the atmosphere in...

He gawks at her and says "A beer? I haven't had a beer in 25 years! I would love a beer!"

So, she unzips her wetsuit a little bit, pulls out a can of beer, pops the top, and hands it to him.

He starts drinking his beer when she smiles again and says "Would you like a cigarette?"

WIS: Former Bush spokesman takes global warming fight role
Tucker Eskew is one of three former aides to late South Carolina Governor Carroll Campbell now working with New York-based Environmental Defense to map a strategy for stemming global warming.

His jaw drops and he says "A cigarette? I haven't had a smoke in 25 years! I would love a cigarette!"

So, she unzips her wetsuit a little farther, reaches in and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. Then she puts the cigarette in his mouth and lights it for him.

NDTV: Global warming leads to freaky weather
As India reels under freak weather, the question is did we miss the early signs of global warming? Two years ago a study showed that glaciers in the Himalayas were melting rapidly.

Now he's standing there enjoying his beer and his cigarette, when she smiles the biggest and sexiest smile he has ever seen, unzips her wetsuit even farther, and says "Would you like to play around?"

The Burlington Free Press: Global warming activists target Vermont's U.S. House race on global warming
When political candidates stepped up to the stage Monday and pledged to fight global warming, Vermonters had a look at a tug-of-war that's likely to accelerate.

He looks at her incredulously and says "You've got a set of golf clubs in there too?"

The Royal Gazette: Insurers chided over global warming policies
Insurers, whose finances could be stretched to breaking point by climate change, stand accused of doing too little to research global warming or devise products to mitigate its potentially catastrophic effects.Unless climate change slows, insurers warn, years like 2005, when their catastrophe bill topped $80 billion, could become the norm...

Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be here all week.

KXAN: UT Study On Global Warming
A University of Texas study reveals some startling data about Greenland's ice masses and its effects on global warming. "The recent melting rate is significantly larger than before," Dr. Jian Chen, research scientist, said.

Business Wire: U.S. CEOs Overwhelmingly Concerned about Global Warming
Nearly two in three Chief Executive Officers of American small and medium-sized businesses expressed concern about the prospects of global warming, according to the latest Vistage Confidence Index, a quarterly measure of economic, market and industry trends.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

AllAfrica.com: Kenya: Minister Issues Global Warming Alert
The current trends in global warming will have adverse effects on the tourism industry, Environment minister Prof Kivutha Kibwana has said.

WBKO-TV: Global Warming: What Is It?
To understand all this talk about Global Warming, you must first understand The Greenhouse Effect. The Greenhouse Effect is the rise in temperature that the Earth experiences because certain gases in the atmosphere trap energy from the sun.

Smart Growth Online: Columnist Analyzes Gov. Schwarzenegger's Decision to Support California's Global Warming Solutions Act
Unpersuaded by the urgent need to pass the controversial California Global Warming Solutions Act right now, especially since its emission caps won't be enforced before 2012, Sacramento Bee columnist Dan Walters thinks the main reason for this virtual ratification of the ''Kyoto greenhouse gas treaty that the Bush administration has shunned'' stems from Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's...

PhysOrg: Scientist: Adapt for global warming
The British Association for the Advancement of Science says the world must focus on preparing for the "hotter, drier world" that global warming will bring.

The Barre Montpelier Times Argus: Global warming march ends in rally
More than 600 people spanning nearly half a mile marched into Burlington on Monday in what organizers said was the country's largest global warming demonstration to date...

WCAX: Five-day march calls for political action on global warming
More than 600 people spanning nearly half a mile marched into Burlington on Monday in what organizers said was the country's largest global warming demonstration to date. (Emphasis mine.)

Wow. You mean somebody at "Burning Man" was sober enough to file a news story?

PNN: "Global Warming House" Unveiled at Burning Man Festival A new system for building houses, designed for a world beset by global warming, is being introduced at the Burning Man art festival in Nevada. A full-size demonstration house structure is being built by volunteers in a few days, demonstrating the easy, inexpensive process construction.

The Plimsouls were New Wave, too...

PR Newswire: New Wave of Science Links Global Warming, Hurricanes
[Press Release]
A long series of peer-reviewed research articles published since 2005 has dramatically established the link between human-induced global warming and growing hurricane activity, according to leading scientists from the nation's top climate research institutions.

BTW, the sentence above is a lie.

Jennifer Lopez makes me smile. (Part Four)

From the pages of The King Abdullah Gazette: